--CHAPTER ONE--DARKNESS ABOUNDSEvery inferno begins with a spark, not a thundering boom as some would believe, and now, a completely different first person narrative . . .I am an equal part of every living thing just as you are, only in a different sense, though quite similarly. I am an equal part of everything living, without which I could not exist . . . Water my blood, the gaseous element’s, my lung’s, star’s and planet’s, my energy, foliage, my nervous system, sentient and non-sentient life, my mind and senses, all working in absolute equilibrium and balance.In the beginning, my initial form was not anything of what it is now, nor is anything in its stages of infancy.Before my existence there was only black, cold, darkness, a space infinitely void of color or light. I have no inkling of why I came into being, if I was created by spiritual copulation or if I was simply, spontaneously ignited to fill the void, I hope one day to know.My initial form was a white spark, no larger than that of the head of a pin, eventually developing into a sphere of blue and white, pulsating energy, equivalent to that of a maturing embryo, I cannot say what caused me to grow in this stage, surrounded by the black abyss of nothing.In every fetal stage there is some sort of nourishment, I can only assume that I had replicated my own as I had continued to grow. There is no premise for time or space, I truly cannot say how long it was before I became self-aware or “born” as you would say.When self-realization did occur, I began to shed particles of energy which began to grow as they orbited around me, feeding my life force as I fed theirs . . . The particles began to then replicate themselves with still more fragments of energy orbiting them as had occurred with my own essence.Even though the energy particles replicated themselves independently, there was an equal connection, a symbiotic relationship. In the beginning I found that these particles were purely extensions of my being, whereas they were likened to ever expanding appendages, moving further outward in a spiraling formation.With these spiraling appendages after reaching a certain distance from my center, had come to experiences the first facets of being self-aware, not by my will, though simply growing in consciousness, feeding their position to me as I relayed mine to them, creating a larger spiral with every revolution.Though these appendages were becoming sentient, they relied on my instructions just as your fingertips would tap on a surface awaiting a command, though their language was foreign. In my infancy, which every being must endure, it was a painstaking ordeal of control and coordination of my functions (energetically speaking).There was nothing to guide me, as I can say I wish, I had no parental figure pointing out my mistakes then telling me why. These spiraling appendages, after reaching a certain distance from my center, had come to experiences the first facets of being self-aware, not by my will, though simply growing in consciousness, feeding their position to me as I relayed mine to them, creating a larger spiral with every revolution.I, in essence, was an abandoned nestling, forced to feed myself or expire . . . There were uncontrollable energy burst’s that shot from my being, creating planet sized explosions then evaporating, or some fluctuations would emit from my center and solidify, hurtling out into the black abyss, I was terrified.No spoken words could express the pain and terror of my growth, when I say pain I do not refer to physical anguish more of fear of my own being, the angst of being alone in this pit of never ending darkness, then coming to the realization early on, that perhaps I was not alone as my surroundings might dictate, what if my form was not unique?It became increasingly clear that I did not have the luxury of being a child, expelling explosions or solid orb’s and fragment’s out into that nothingness, if one of my own kind exists, what if I injure them? What if I inadvertently destroy something miniscule? Simply because of my immense size, that factor did not make me any more or less important, I simply was.As an infant, I needed to gain control of these appendages and functions, if not for my own wellbeing, for that of anything nearby, if indeed that was a factor, my first logical thought was, ‘simply because I cannot see beyond the darkness, does by any measure, mean that I am alone.’ In that simple thought, I gained hope - There is another form as I am, perhaps one that has already developed—I could not accept a realm of darkness and loneliness, I had to hear something other than the sound of my own inner thoughts.A sample excerpt from the second book enclosed within My lifeThirty Eight Years of Field Data which is entitled Memoirsof the Great Creator (From Infancy to Infinity)
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